The REAL Reasons We Push People Away Before We Give Them A Chance...
There's a new dating technique Millennials have picked up on. It's called the "let's end this before it gets started" method, and it's really catching on.
Most likely generated from a dating culture bathed in social media and Tinder, it's become as popular and widely used as the equally popular no-text-back response.
We're meeting at a rapid rate and dropping at each other accordingly. We're giving out our numbers and taking them back just as fast. We're constantly connecting and then disconnecting.
Seriously, it's totally different than anything we ever expected from the adult relationships we envisioned. In all our preconceived notions, it went logically: Exchange numbers, set up a date, have that date and then go home, have another date, have a few more dates... and then either get together or break up.
Pretty simple. Now, however, it goes something a little less narrow and a little more cyclical: Exchange numbers, set up a date, cancel date -- or maybe; Don't exchange numbers, meet on tinder, have sex, exchange numbers, never call.
Because what's a canceled date (or a never-planned one) when you have plenty of others in the future?
But do you? What's the rate of exchange on these things? I'm starting to believe that just because we're giving our numbers out at an unprecedented rate, the number of us backing away before anything gets remotely close to looking like a date, or any type of scenario where one person could get hurt, is even larger.
But why? Where did all of this backing away come from? When did we become a generation without any follow-through?
When did we start giving up midway through solely because we'd rather go back home than see what could be waiting for us on the other side? When did we stop wanting to play and start becoming those kids standing on the sidelines?
I think somewhere between high school and real life, we were hurt a few times-- somewhere along the way we became less bold, less confident and less ballsy.
Somewhere along the way we decided it's easier to push people away than giving them a chance is.
BECAUSE WE'RE SCARED..
It's easier to sleep at night knowing you drove them away instead of the other way around. It's easier to say that you were the one who ended it. It's easier to hurt someone before that person gets a chance to hurt you.
But is it better to be alone and miss out on opportunities, or is it better to risk a little pain? Being alone is only one possible result of being with someone, yet pushing that person away ensures that it will happen every time.
So why are you jumping the gun?
BECAUSE IT'S NEVER THE RIGHT TIME...
When is the right time to get to close with someone? When is the ideal time to begin a relationship? News flash:: There is no right time to fall for someone.
It happens or it doesn't. It doesn't happen when you're financially ready or when you're emotionally stable. It doesn't happen when you've decided it's time or when everything is in order. It happens when you're not ready. It happens when your life is in chaos and you're a mess.
It happens at just the right time, even if you can't see that.
BECAUSE WE THINK THEY'RE TOO GOOD FOR US...
Assuming someone is too good for you is like taking your heart out of your chest and giving it away on a silver platter. Why the hell are you doing that? Why are you giving away all the power?
Everyone is equal, especially in love. Just because she might be the best-looking girl you've been with or he's the hottest guy you know doesn't mean anyone deserves your fear.
Pushing people away because you're scared they're going to trample all over you is like retreating before the war has even begun.
BECAUSE WE THINK WE'RE TOO GOOD FOR THEM...
The opinion of friends and strangers has become a valid one in the new dating culture we've created. We have secret sex, secret relationships and secret breakups because we think we're better off that way.
When it comes to love, however, there is no such thing. If that person makes you happy, or could make you happy, then how is he or she not the best person you know?
You're never better than anyone, yet acting like you are definitely puts you in a category all alone.
BECAUSE WE SAW THAT ONE THING (AND WE CAN'T GET OVER IT)....
Whether it was that small twitch in his eye or that less than perfect laugh she has, it may as well be a tendency to murder or a very obvious and disturbing obsession with clowns, because we're out of there.
Whether it's something insignificant or something less-than-insignificant, we like to find something that gives us reason to back away.
Because we're all looking for perfection... and that's totally unfeasible.
Self-driving cars will change the world. Not just because they'll all but eliminate car accidents ... not just because our time in the car will be more productive ... but because now there'll be nothing stopping us from getting hammered all day long.
A new Harris poll asked people what they think about self-driving cars... which seem like they WILL be a reality in our lifetimes. Here are the best five stats:
1. Only one in three people say they have no interest in a self-driving car.
2. 93% of people have at least SOME fear about them. The most popular one is the potential for computer glitches .. number two is the price.
3. 53% say the best thing about them is there will be fewer accidents from drunk and distracted driving. 50% are looking forward to no speeding tickets ... and 18% thing they'll increase productivity.
4. 30% say they're going to make us even LAZIER.
5. And finally, 24% can't wait to have one serve as their permanent designated driver.
If yoga's about finding your path to inner peace, some people's paths will inevitability diverge. Like, say, this woman's.
41-year-old Nancy Duarte of Dallas, Texas has been going to a yoga studio called American Power Yoga ... and she's been having trouble with a guy who works there. It's not clear if he's an employee, an owner, or the owner's friend ... but he was bad news.
Nancy says he kept hitting on her ... wanted to make her his "girlfriend on the side" ... and tried to put his hands on her.
Finally, it was too much for her. So on Saturday night, she waited until the studio closed ... and set it on FIRE.
But it was in a strip mall with a few other stores, and some of them had to be evacuated. No one was hurt, but she did some serious damage to the yoga studio.
Now, she's facing criminal charges for arson. And whether you agree with her for being angry at guys or not, she's clearly a little nuts ... because in her mugshot she has a HUGE smile on her face.
If you're going to put something in your passenger seat to get away with driving in the carpool lane, might as well go with something interesting. This guy definitely did ... in the most literal way possible.
A Washington state trooper posted a photo on Twitter yesterday afternoon .. he caught a guy driving in the carpool lane with a cardboard cutout in the passenger seat.
And the cutout was ... The Most Interesting Man in the World, from those Dos Equis commercials.
It seems like they both got a laugh out of it ... because the Twitter post, and because it looks like the driver is LAUGHING in the photo ... but he still got a $124 ticket.
They're just gettin' started! Country superstar Jason Aldean married his fiancee Brittany Kerr on Saturday, Mar. 21, the couple exclusively confirm to Us Weekly. They said "I do" in an evening ceremony in Mexico.
Surrounded by family and friends Jason Aldean told Us Weekly "This is the best day ever - I've got my girl here, my friends and family"
Brittany added "Today has been the best day of my life. I feel like the luckiest woman to have been able to marry my best friend."
Aldean and Kerr, 27, were feted by family and friends, including Duck Dynasty star Willie Robertson and Aldean's daughters, Keeley, 12, and Kendyl, 7, from his previous marriage.
Aldean proposed to Kerr in September 2014 after two years of dating. "My man did it again," Kerr wrote via Instagram at the time. "Today was amazing." As Us exclusively reported, they later popped champagne at Nashville's luxe Citizen Club in January to celebrate. Among the 100 guests were fellow country singers Luke Bryan and Eric Church. For more exclusive details on Aldean and Kerr's wedding, pick up the next issue of Us Weekly, on stands Wednesday.
Even WILL FERRELL is rethinking the whole Greek system, thanks to that video of Oklahoma University frat kids and their racist chant. And Will was in a frat himself.
He says, quote, "The incident in Oklahoma, that is a real argument for getting rid of the system altogether, in my opinion, even having been through a fraternity.
"Because when you break it down, it really is about creating cliques and clubs and being exclusionary. Fraternities were started as academic societies that were supposed to have a philanthropic arm to them.
"And when it's governed by those kind of rules, then they're still beneficial. But you gotta be careful."
Will was in Delta Tau Delta at USC, but he says they were, quote, "kind of the anti-fraternity fraternity ... we didn't take it too seriously." He was also a middle-aged fray guy in the 2003 movie "Old School."
A guy shoplifted some shoes, a hat, a watch and some underwear from a Walmart in Mobile, Alabama last week. And maybe he had prior arrests or something ... because he turned into SPIDER MAN to avoid being arrested.
A security guard caught him in the act, and locked him in an office until the cops got there. At least ... that was the plan.
The guy managed to climb into the air vents...crawled 20 feet... kicked out the ceiling tiles...drooped down onto the door frame of the front entrance...jumped to the ground...avoided at least a dozen people trying to catch him... and RAN AWAY.
A guy named Brannan Lynn was eating at McDonald's IN the Walmart...now THAT's America...and managed to get a video of it. Check out "Walmart shoplifter escapes like Spiderman kick through ceiling" on YouTube.
A new survey found the top 10 things every man should know. But don't worry ... it's talking about modern men. No one expects you to do REAL things men used to do, like changing your own oil or rusting cattle.
Here are the top 10 things every man should know:
1. His wedding anniversary
2. Basic home repairs
3. How to change a light bulb
4. How to tie a tie
5. How to read a map
6. His significant other's favorite drink
7. How to iron a shirt
8. How to change a tire
9. How to shave
10. The right amount of after shave or cologne to wear
A new study found that the HAPPIEST age of your life is ... 34. So if you're younger than that, it gets better. And if you're older, sorry ... it's all downhill from here.
It's because a lot of good things converge for the average person at 34: getting married, having kids, making some good strides in your career, some financial security, buying a house, and really starting to appreciate life.
Overall, 47% of people say their life has been mostly happy so far. 43% say it's been a mix of good times and rough times, and 10% say it's been mostly BAD.
The study also found the top things that make people happy through each decade of their lives. Check 'em out:
The happiest things about your 20s are: you're young and physically fit ... you have fewer responsibilities ... you're happy with how you look ... you get married ... and your whole family is still around.
The happiest things about your 30s are: you have children ... you're in love ... you're able to enjoy the "finer things in life" ... you travel ... and you start making truly smart decisions.
The happiest things about your 40s are: you feel comfortable with yourself ... you have an excellent family life ... you're in love ... you have a great time with your children and they grow up ... and you get some "me" time back.
The happiest things about your 50s are: you're comfortable financially and emotionally ... work starts winding down ... you pay off your mortgage ... you do a lot of traveling ... and you become a grandparent.
The happiest things about your 60s and beyond are: you finally retire .. you're able to travel as much as you want ... you have time to focus on your hobbies ... you have freedom from work ... and you truly appreciate your entire life.
The delivery guy from the Miller High Life commercials has died. Windell Middlebrook was jut 36 years old when he was found dead on Monday morning at his home in California.
There's not word on a cause of death, but it's being described as "sudden." Supposedly, there were no signs of foul play.
In addition to the Miller ads, he had roles on tons of shows, including "Cougar Town", "Parks and Recreation", "Scrubs", "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", and the "Bernie Mac Show." He was also a regular on ABC's "Body of Proof."
TAYLOR SWIFT'S legs are easily among her best features, and she knows it. That's why she's having them insured for $40 million. (!!!)
At least that's what various tabloids are saying. With Taylor's 1989 Tour kicking off in May, her people reportedly went to an insurance company to see what they'd be worth, and that's the number she got.
A source says, quote, "She thought her legs were possibly worth a million. But $40 million shocked her. She's even a little embarrassed about it.
Is there someone at work who annoys you because they talk too much? If the answer's no ... it it possible it's YOU?
1. Everyone who sits near you at work wears headphones ... Some people do it so they can concentrate. But if a LOT of people around you have headphones on, you might be the reason they can't concentrate.
2. You're always the one who starts conversations. It's a sign that people are trying to avoid talking to you, because they know you'll go on and on.
3. They look at their phone while you're talking. Which is a bad habit a lot of us seem to have these days. So if someone does it once or twice, don't sweat it.
4. You almost never answer a question in one or two sentences. Like if someone asks what time it is, and you tell a story about the great deal on your watch ... they probably don't care.
We don't want you to start boozing seven days a week ... but drinking makes you look HOTTER. And NOT because other people are wearing beer goggles. Check it out:
A new study out of the University of Bristol in England found people look more attractive after they've had one drink than when they're sober.
The researchers think it's because it relaxes you ... your pupils dilate a little bit, the muscles in your face relax, and your cheeks get a little color. And all that makes you better looking to other people.
But ... that's where the benefits end. After two drinks or more, you look LESS attractive than when you're sober. Once you hit two drinks or more, your face gets TOO relaxed and too flushed ... and you look SLOPPY.
Ever since that stupid -blue-and-gold-and-white-and-black dress hit the Internet, I've wanted to strangle whomever was responsible for bringing it into our lives. But yesterday, ELLEN took a slightly different track. She REWARDED them.
The whole thing started thanks to the impending wedding of a Scottish couple named Grace MacPhee and Keir Johnson. Grace's mother was trying to pick out something to wear for the ceremony, so she sent Grace the picture of that dress.
Immediately, they disagreed on the colors. Mom was there, so obviously she knew it was blue and black. (Which it really is.) But Grace thought it was white and gold. So she asked Keir, and he was it as blue and black, too.
They started showing the picture around, and after WEEKS of everybody arguing over the color, one of their friends posted it on Tumblr, where it went viral.
Long story short, Ellen had them all on her show yesterday, and she gave Grace and Keir a honeymoon in Grenada and $10,000. She also gave them all Ellen underwear that's half blue and black, white and gold.
Here's a strategy to file away in case you're ever pulled over with a bunch of contraband in your car, whether it's drugs, guns, human organs, black market panda bears, whatever.
54-year-old Robery Pursley of Mary Esther, Florida, was pulled over a few weeks ago for swerving. He was arrested for a DUI, and the cops started doing inventory on the stuff in the car before it was towed.
Robert KNEW there was cocaine in the car, but he was ready. According to the police report, he told the cops that everything in the car belonged to him ... quote, "except for anything illegal."
For some reason, they STILL blamed him for the cocaine ... I mean he TOLD you it wasn't his. It seems totally unfair to blame him.
He's been charged with driving under the influence, failure to drive within a single lane, and possession of cocaine.
For at least a decade now America's state fairs have done a tremendous job making insane fried food innovations. And we're about to find out what happens when their inventions go mainstream.
Taco Bell just started testing a new breakfast item ... and it's CRAZY. They're donut holes filed with a sweet, milk-flavored icing... and covered in crushed-up CAP'N CRUNCH. Cap'n Crunch berries, to be specific.
They're called Cap'n Crunch Delights, and they're being tested in Bakersfield, California. Technically they're an item of the breakfast menu ... but they're available all day long.
For now, Taco Bell is only testing them in Bakersfield. There's not word on if or when they could roll out to the rest of the country.