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Duct Tape Dave's Blog

David Kious is one of the funniest feature comedians currently touring the Midwest. After years of performing improv, theatre and radio, David has packed up his life experiences and taken them on the road. He talks about relationships, college, country music and, of course, his cats.

David can bring his clean show for corporate and family-friendly events. And he can always get rowdy when requested. He has opened for many national acts, including Jimmy "Dy-No-Mite" Walker, Weird Al Yankovic, Blake Clark and Tim Cavanaugh.

David's been thrown out of some of the best clubs in America:

The Improv . Kansas City, Missouri
Stanford's Comedy House Kansas City, Missouri
Stanford's Comedy House Overland Park, Kansas
The Comedy Club Denver, Colorado
Wit's End Westminster, Colorado
The Funny Bone Des Moines, Iowa
Star City Cafe Lincoln, Nebraska
Noodles Comedy Club Des Moines, Iowa
U.S. Army Ft. Leavenworth, Kansas
ComedyCity Kansas City, Missouri
Bowinkles Sports Bar & Grill Manhattan, Kansas
Fat Tuesdays Eureka Springs, Arkansas
Crockey's Branson, Missouri
Deloitte & Touche Kansas City, Missouri
Pepperoni's Sioux City, Iowa
ReMax Realtors Kansas City, Missouri
Sam's Wholesale Club Kansas City, Missouri
J.D. Reece Kansas City, Missouri
The End Zone Elk City, Oklahoma
Rancher Spirits & Billiards Jackson, Wyoming
Radisson Hotel Odessa, Texas
Sénor Pepper's Farmington, New Mexico
Bullfrogs Live Topeka, Kansas

"Support Laughter, Kiss a Comedian"

Book Dave for one of your events: davidstandup.com!
 

by Josh James posted Jul 20 2015 10:42AM
My brother-in-law is getting married next month, and I wasn't asked to be in the bridal party.

Not until Saturday night anyway, when his fiancee sent me a text message.

This is what it said: "Hey! I'm working on some wedding stuff right now. Would you like to be a bridesmaid? I would have asked you before, but the bridal party would have been too big,"

Apparently one of her bridesmaids is really sick, and had to drop out of being in the bridal party. So basically I'm a "backup bridesmaid."

Should I tell her yes? Do I have the right to be annoyed that I'm clearly a backup, and she waited this long to ask me?

Delia, 27

(When were you someone else's "backup plan?" Did it make you mad, or did you just roll with it?)
by Josh James posted Jul 20 2015 10:30AM
I think this woman regrets her life choices AND her artistic choices.

A woman in Manhattan had sex with a guy several months ago... they got-it-on three times, then she never heard from him again. And apparently she doesn't even remember his NAME.

Which is a problem. Because it turns out he got her pregnant... and now she's trying to find him. So last week, she posted in the "Missed Connections" section on Craigslist.

Quote, "I am Mexican-American, 5-foot-4, 100 pounds when we screwed. You told me you were a business entrepreneur. You are Middle Eastern, tallish. Had about six-and-a-half inch [junk]. We had sex three times, then you disappeared."

Just to be sure, she also included a drawing of his face...and it's hilariously bad. She says, quote, "I think the resemblance is there." But we're pretty sure she's wrong.


We're not sure if she found him or not, but she wound up deleting the post from Craigslist.
by Dave Kious posted Jul 18 2015 5:01PM
Happy Saturday to you...Please stay cool.

I've got a chance this hour for you to win a pair of tickets to Aaron Lewis on August 7 and a pair of tickets to Thompson Square on August 28 all at Whiskey Tango.

And it's all brought to you by Capital Federal.

Good luck...And Go Royals!
Dave
Filed Under :
Topics : Sports
People : Aaron Lewis
by Dave Kious posted Jul 12 2015 8:01PM
Happy Sunday Night!

Ok, two chances tonight to win a pair of tickets to Aaron Lewis, Big Smo & Thompson Square at Whiskey Tango, PLUS we will throw in a 4-pack of tickets to the T-Bones.

But...You gotta listen for a chance to win...Good luck!

P.S. Please be careful out there...A heat advisory remains in effect. :-P

Dave
Filed Under :
Topics : Sports
People : Aaron Lewis
by Dave Kious posted Jul 11 2015 5:27PM
Happy Saturday...Before 6pm, you have a chance to win...

A pair of tickets to Aaron Lewis, Big Smo, Thompson Square AND a 4-pack of tix to The T-Bones!

Keep listening for a chance to win!

Dave
Filed Under :
Topics : Sports
People : Aaron Lewis
by Dave Kious posted Jul 5 2015 12:01PM
Happy Sunday to you, hope you had a good Fourth.

Yes, I've got 4 chances this afternoon for you to win Thompson Square tickets at Whiskey Tango on Friday, August 28.

Also...Come on, Royals! We REALLY need this one today. Need to the get bats to wake up.

Thanks for listening,
Dave
Filed Under :
Topics : Human InterestSports
by Dave Kious posted Jul 4 2015 1:25PM
Happy Saturday, Happy Fourth of July and Happy Chance to Win Thompson Square Tickets @ Whiskey Tango on Friday, August 28.

Ironcially you have FOUR chances to win with me this afternoon.

Good luck and be safe out there.

Duct Tape Dave
Filed Under :
Topics : Sports
by Josh James posted Jun 30 2015 10:54AM
156 years ago... in 1859, five thousand people gathered to watch Frenchman Charles Blondin walk across NIAGARA FALLS on a TIGHTROPE. It took him only five minutes. Later, he crossed blindfolded on stilts, pushing a wheelbarrow, and while carrying a man on his back!

116 years ago... in 1899, Charles Murphy became the first person to reach 60 MPH ON A BIKE!

79 years ago... In 1936, Margaret Mitchell's classic novel, "Gone With The Wind," was published.

40 years ago... In 1976, CHER and GREGG ALLMAN were married only four days after Cher divorced SONNY BONO. Cher and Gregg Allman split up nine days later, before eventually getting back together. Sonny skied into a tree and died 23 years later.

39 years ago... in 1976, Police raided NEIL DIAMOND'S home. They didn't find enough marijuana for an arrest, but left with some free albums.

38 years ago... in 1977, GENE SIMMONS authorized the first KISS COMIC BOOK. It sold 500,000 copies. Did you know: the red ink was mixed with small amounts of blood from each group member.

29 years ago... in 1986, in a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court ruled that states COULD OUTLAW HOMOSEXUAL ACTS between consenting adults. That ruling was overturned in 2003... when the court decided that what you do in the privacy of your lover's reckty is YOUR business.

27 years ago... in 1988, RONALD REAGAN instituted random drug testing for all White House employees after three guards were suspended for off-duty use of the NOSE CANDY.

22 years ago... 
in 1993, "SPANKY" MCFARLAND of the "Little Rascals"  died in Texas, at 64

21 years ago... in 1994, STONE GOSSARD and JEFF AMENT of PEARL JAM testified at a congressional hearing concerning rising concert ticket prices. EFF TICKETMASTER!

9 years ago... in 2006, JESSICA SIMPSON divorced what was left of NICK LACHEY, after nearly four years of marriage. Remember when we wondered what the hell Nick was doing with her? Well, now that we know she's SEXUAL NAPALM, it all makes sense. 
by Dave Kious posted Jun 28 2015 7:42PM
What a weekend it has been...
The Kicker Country Stampede was another HUGE success...The Rolling Stones rocked Arrowhead Stadium, sure they're not a country band, but we all love the Stones.

Sporting KC won another home game and The Royals...What can I say about the Royals?
They swept Oakland on the road...Yes!

Last, but certainly not least...Tonight I have chances for you to win either Aaron Lewis or T-Bones tickets.
Please keep listening for details and YOUR chance to win.

If you need me, I'll be in the studio smiling.  :-)

Duct Tape Dave
 
Filed Under :
Location : Oakland
People : Aaron Lewis
by Dave Kious posted Jun 27 2015 5:02PM
Happy Saturday to you!

Country Stampede going on...Rolling Stones at Arrowhead and Sporting KC playing tonight.

AND...I've got a 4 pack of tickets to giveaway to Aaron Lewis with Travis Marvin at Whiskey Tango on August 7th that I'll be giving away during the 5 o'clock hour.

AND...During the 6 o'clock hour you have a chance to win a 4 pack of T-Bones tickets for their July 7th game.

Keep listening for your chances to win!

Duct Tape Dave
Filed Under :
Topics : Sports
by Josh James posted Jun 24 2015 8:03AM


Here are some random facts for you....

1. Mexico's official name is actually United Mexican States.


2. Missing kids aren't on milk cartons anymore  because the program was a huge failure. Only about 70 missing children were ever featured on milk cartons in the U.S.... and only one was found alive..


3. Only one Adam Sandler film has ever gotten an Oscar nomination. "Click" was nominated for Best Makeup in 2006, but lost to "Pan's Labyrinth"


4. The average American fast food worker is now 29-and-a-half years old.


5. Phosphorus was accidentally discovered in the 1660s by a guy who was boiling his PEE to turn it into gold...


 
Filed Under :
People : Adam Sandler
by Dave Kious posted Jun 21 2015 12:18PM
Happy Father's Day!

Chance to win Stampede or Lady A tickets all afternoon, so please keep listening for a chance to win.

How about that Royals win last night?  Hope they can take 2 our of 3 against Boston.

Thanks for listening,
Duct Tape Dave
Filed Under :
Location : Boston
by Dave Kious posted Jun 20 2015 5:05PM
Check this out...You have a chance to win either Lady A or Country Stampede tickets.

I've got 3 giveways between now and 8pm tonight....So...

PLEASE KEEP LISTENING!!!

Good luck...Duct Tape Dave
 
Filed Under :
by Dave Kious posted Jun 14 2015 7:59PM
Happy Sunday Night to You...

Duct Tape Dave here and you have 2 chances tonight to win tickets to see Aaron Lewis and Travis Marvin @ Whiskey Tango on Friday, August 7.

Please keep listening for you your chance to win.

And let's hope the Royals get back to winning again.  :-(

Best wishes,
DTD
by Dave Kious posted Jun 13 2015 5:13PM
Happy Saturday Night!

Chance to win Aaron Lewis and Travis Marvin tickets at Whiskey Tango is happening this evening.

Just listen for the announcer guy to tell you when to call...Good luck!

Duct Tape Dave
Filed Under :
by Dave Kious posted Jun 7 2015 12:01PM
Happy Sunday to you...And let's get those Royals winning again!

The good news is that as bad as they are playing, there are still only one game out of first place.

So, come on Boys in Blue...Let's win today!

Oh, and back to Q-0104. 

I've got chances for you to win Aaron Rogers tickets (With T-Marv) or Randy Rogers Band tickets.

Be safe out there,

Duct Tape Dave
by Dave Kious posted Jun 6 2015 4:42PM
Happy Saturday to you...

I've got two chances to win Randy Rogers Band tickets and one chance to win Aaron Lewis tickets between now and 8pm.

And...Go Royals!

Duct Tape Dave
Filed Under :
People : Aaron Lewis
by Dave Kious posted May 31 2015 12:08PM
Happy Sunday to you.


You have four...Count 'em, FOUR chances to win Randy Rogers Band tickets this afternoon.

They will be performing at the Crossroads KC on Friday, July 17.  Just listen for the sounder guy to tell you when to call.

Royals got rained out yesterday, hopefully they will be back in action this afternoon...with...another win.  :-)

Thanks for listening,

Duct Tape Dave
Filed Under :
by Josh James posted May 28 2015 8:31AM
If you're debating between quickly eloping to Vegas or having a massive wedding with 300 guests, a performance by Tom Jones, and a flyover by the Blue Angels.... listen up!

Slate.com put together a calculator that figures out how much money you'd have now if you took your wedding budget and INVESTED it instead. They used the S&P 500 as the basis for their investing.

You just put in how many years you've been married, and how much you spent on your wedding... and it delivers the MORTIFYING TRUTH.

Like, if you got married five years ago and spent $10,000, it would be worth more than $20,000 now!

If you got married 20 years ago and spent $10,000, it would be worth more than $65,000 now!

Just Google ' Did You Spend Too Much On Your Wedding?'
Filed Under :
Topics : Human Interest
by Dave Kious posted May 25 2015 3:05PM
Happy Memorial Day to you and thank you to ALL of our Veterans.

This afternoon you have 3 chances to win a 4-pack of tickets to see Chris Cagle at Whiskey Tango this Friday night.

Please keep in mind that you have to be at least 21 to win...Thanks.

Be safe out there!
Duct Tape Dave

 
Filed Under :
Topics : Human InterestSports
People : Chris Cagle
by Dave Kious posted May 24 2015 8:02PM
First of all and most important...Thank you to all of our Veterans, this weekend is for you.

Second...I've got 3 chances to win a 4-Pack of tickets to see Chris Cagle at Whiskey Tango this Friday.

And finally...Yes, the Royals lost today, but I'll be happy anytime that we take 2 our of 3 against St. Louis giving us the best overall record in baseball right now.  Let's hope they can keep the winning going against the Yankees.

I'll be here til midnight...No work tomorrow, so hang with me.  :-)

Duct Tape Dave
Filed Under :
Topics : Human InterestSports
Location : St. Louis
by Dave Kious posted May 23 2015 9:12AM
First of all...Happy Memorial Day Weekend with special thoughts going out to all of our Veterans. 

Also, today...Saturday, I have two chances for you to win.

First, I'm giving away a 4-Pack of tickets to see Chris Cagle at Whiskey Tango on Friday, May 29...
AND
I'm giving a way a pair of passes to our Miller Lite Party Deck for this Thursday's Hot Country Nights with Montgomery Gentry.

So...Two chances to win between now and 1pm.

And Go Royals...The Best Team in Baseball!
Duct Tape Dave
 
Filed Under :
Topics : Human InterestSports
People : Chris Cagle
by Dave Kious posted May 17 2015 12:06PM
Happy Sunday,

I've got four...count them...FOUR chances this afternoon for you to win a pair of Dierks Bentley tickets at Cricket Wireless Amphitheatre on Saturday, September 12.

Keep listening for your CHANCES to win!

Oh, and...Go Royals!  Let's take 2 our of 3 against the Yanks.

Duct Tape Dave
 
Filed Under :
Topics : Sports
People : Dierks Bentley
by Dave Kious posted May 16 2015 5:19PM
Go Royals, Go Sporting and Go You, for your chance to win a pair of Dierks Bentley tickets at Cricket on Sept. 12.

Be listening between now and 8pm for your chance to win.

Duct Tape Dave
Filed Under :
Topics : Sports
People : Dierks Bentley
by Dave Kious posted Jul 13 2014 12:28PM
Alright...Doing tickets on the 10's for Jamey Johnson at Whiskey Tango on August 1st.  Please remember that you must me at least 21 to attend.

Listen to Morning Drive on Monday about our Free Ride to Summer.  You can win 'Yalla tickets and a chance to win a 2014 Harley Davidson Sportser 883!

I love movies, but rarely go...but, I went to one last night and saw the movie Chef.  It was fantastic.  Unbelieveable cast and just some great acting.  But, don't go hungry, because it's all about food.  lol

Have a great Sunday,
Duct Tape Dave Kious
by Dave Kious posted Jul 6 2014 12:41PM
Good afternoon,

Today will definitely feel like summer today.  Luckily, I'm in a nice air conditioned studio playing the country hits.

Don't forget...If you have a band...We've got the Battle of the Garage Bands with Worth Harley-Davidson up North.
You can win money and the winning band gets to open up at 'Yalla.  Nice.

Have a great week...Right now as I type, the Royals are down 3-0.  Come on Royals...Come back time!!!

Duct Tape Dave
by Kyle Kristofer posted Jul 4 2014 2:45PM

Before you go to Riverfest, take care of your dogs, please.  We may love all the fireworks, pops, bangs and loud explosions, but they are terrifying for your dog. In fact, more dogs are lost on the 4th of July than any other time of the year because they frantically try to escape the noise.  Join TJ McEntire live from Riverfest with Kyle doing traffic to get you to the party till 7pm tonight for the 4th!  Have an epic and safe weekend!  Happy Birthday, America from all of us at Q104!
Filed Under :
Topics : Human Interest
by Dave Kious posted Jul 4 2014 11:55AM
Coming up during the 1 o'clock hour we will do our Q-104 Days of Summer with a pair of Worlds of Fun tickets and more.

Have a great 4th and be safe...oh, and Go Royals!

Duct Tape Dave
by Dave Kious posted Jun 29 2014 12:04PM
Happy Sunday, everybody!

Giving away tickets on the 10's.  Chance to win a 4 pack of tickets to the KC Riverfest on Friday, July 4th at Berkley Riverfront Park.

Welcome back to everyone that got to attend the Country Stampede.

And the Royals have a chance to win the series against the Angels...Go Royals!

Please have a safe 4th.

Duct Tape Dave
by Dave Kious posted Jun 22 2014 12:32AM
Please tune in from noon to 4pm...I've got a chance for you to win Tracy Lawrence tickets for this coming Friday, June 27 at Whiskey Tango.

Be sure to tune into the Morning Drive starting Monday morning at 7:30am for a chance to win cash, concert tickets and a new 2014 Ford Focus!


Don't forgert about the Battle of the Bands going on at Worth Harley Davidson.  It will be your chance to open up at Y'alla.  Chance to win $1,000, too!


Go Royals...Let's start up a new winning streak and go USA in soccer on Sunday.  If they win on Sunday...They are moving to the round of 16.  U*S*A*U*S*A*U*S*A!!!


Duct Tape Dave Kious
Filed Under :
Topics : SportsWar_Conflict
People : Tracy Lawrence
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